I initially struggled with this notion of wanting to be a loved leader. But I was recently surprised when I read in a non-nursing leadership source that it is a given—We all want to be loved, yes, even leaders.
I was taught in leadership training that love was not to enter our leadership relationships, and that emotions were to be squelched.
This is what I know now as a leader and as a person seeking … It all comes down to our emotions.
I say this as an A-Ha. It’s more like a Dah.
As an adult, and as a child, I’ve spent my life trying to control my emotions.
The given in studying “Emotional Intelligence” is that emotions need to be controlled.
Isn’t that a shame?
Because when we start controlling our emotions, all emotions get packed away in the bag of control…. including the healthy emotions, especially in our work settings.
So if we jump to Love Leadership, there’s a lot of murkiness in this journey.
Love requires, opening our hearts and exposing our emotions. What? … Which emotions? When? How?
And if you want to make this a really meaningful move, that means exploring your fears around love at work and opening yourselves to being loved for it.
I really love this notion of wanting to be a loved leader. It’s a big ask, … learning how to deserve being loved, and asking others to open their hearts to love. I think this catapults us right into the core of emotional clarity.
First of all, it cuts into the heart of codependence. We know that the majority of us come to nursing on life rafts propelled by codependence. Once we’re in nursing, it involves a lifetime of learning and growing to avoid codependent needs from sucking us dry. That’s where emotional intelligence and self-care are our life support to survival in nursing and living.
Bringing love into nursing practice and nurse leadership is a slippery slope. But needed in our daily lives, in healthcare at large, and in our world today.
Anything less than being love as a leader is not enough in this time in history and society shifts.
Love leadership is a straight arrow into the hearts of nurses who want to see and feel more healthy emotions in their work, and seeing healthy emotions radiating from their leaders helps them learn to love bigger too—to love their patients, love their work, love themselves and love you.
We came to nursing with love in our hearts. We need to now take it out of the bag of emotional control and learn to use it in our nursing practice, learn to bring love into our work, and learn to be loved for it.